gq:

GQ EXCLUSIVE: Robert Pattinson Responds to Kristen Stewart Cheating

We’ve gotten press releases from both Kristen Stewart AND Rupert Sanders about the fallout from Twi-Gate (has anyone called it Twi-Gate yet? Because we’re calling it that). But what of the aggrieved Robert Pattinson? Thankfully, GQ got an exclusive first look at R-Pattz’s forthcoming public statement on the matter.

What’s that? Kristen cheated on me? Seriously? Oh man. Oh God. Oh man. Oh God oh man oh God oh man. I feel so…

[squints really hard to simulate crying]

She seemed so happy, you know? Except for when she was pouting and refusing to talk, which I guess she did a lot. Was it something I did? I just wanna…

[bites bottom lip to simulate anger]

I feel so… What’s that feeling where someone is loyal to you and then they’re suddenly not loyal? I feel unloyaled to.

Read Mr. Pattinson’s full statement here.